Finding my center

Babycakes if off to distant lands again -- for two months. Since this is now becoming more common, I begin to see distinct patterns for myself and one of them is that whenever he leaves (or returns for that matter), I get thrown a little off balance. It only lasts for a few days -- like the jetlag that he feels on his end -- but I need to learn how to take care of myself during that time. Sleep more? Meditation? Yoga? Eat more?! Shopping?!!

Yep, you guessed it, so far my pattern has been that I eat more and I shop! Part of the eating more is that Babycakes does most of the cooking, but also it's a way to comfort myself ... I ENJOY the experience of eating out with the girls. And the shopping! Yesterday during lunch (instead of eating out, since I was alone), I hit Chico's and spent $300! This morning as I was trying everything on again, I decided I don't really love any of it (except a pair of pants) and will return it all, but I wonder what frenzy was going through my head.

So, it's been four days now and I'm starting to feel more centered again and thinking about who I want to be and what I want to do. I want to eat less ... both for my health (eating out is a lot more calories) and for my wallet (way more expensive). I want to buy fewer things, but have them be things that I really love. I want to enjoy the experience of both of these things, not just fill holes. And I want to pursue some of my own hobbies again ... whether scrapbooking or sewing or jewelry making or something new. And finally, I want to add something active to my life -- hiking, biking, tennis, something. Right now, nothing sounds good except sitting on my fanny, but I think it's a build up thing ... if I start walking ten minutes a day, my feet and legs will start to develop better stamina (and perhaps help my plantar fasciitis).

Goals for this week:
o Walk ten minutes a day
o Add meditation back into morning routine
o spend 15 minutes a day decluttering
o eat whatever I want until I'm satisfied (conscious eating)
o read another chapter of Women, Food and God
o Create upbeat playlist for ten-minute walk

Back to my life?

Arrived back home tonight after a week in Florida and I have such a bizarre sense of "where am I and how did I end up here?" that is sticking with me. Is this really my house? My kitchen? My bedroom? How did I end up with so much stuff? I think it's probably a good time to think about my five-six year plan and what kind of person I want to be and what kind of lifestyle I want to have and what I want to do with my time ...

One week of Summer ... gone. What's for dinner?

Our first week of Summer is officially over (a little more than an actual week, but Summer is all about loosening up, right?). It feels both like we just started and like we've been Summering for weeks. DD14 began daily swimming (did I mention that swim team will be happening as well?) and after a couple of days of drop-off and pick-up, it already feels like a part of our routine -- packing the suit, the sunscreen and goggles and picking up next to the outside pool entrance.

DD12 gets her cast off tomorrow and once we get her therapy plan from the doctor, can finally prepare what her weeks will look like. For now, she's mastering Mario Bros on the wii and I find the music strangely comforting (I'll attribute that to the years BFF and I worked nights and played Nintendo for hours on-end).

DH spent the week in Mexico City and we learned to how to Skype (and which locations were best). We enjoyed a family breakfast at Puckett's and a date night at Sperry's in Belle Meade (re-opened after the flood) yesterday. Today DD14 and I enjoyed lunch at Zoe's Kitchen and then we had a family movie outing to see Ironman 2 followed by dinner at Jason's Deli. I give up -- I declare it official that eating out is one of my favorite ways to make anything more special ... whether it's a holiday weekend, or the first week of Summer.

I've fought this for YEARS, determined to spend less on eating out. I have set tight food budgets, I've planned menus, I've gone the cash-only method ... and I find that I can scrimp on many things, but having to eat at home is the surest way to make me feel my batteries draining.

Is it because I was raised eating most meals out (by a single mom who was working and going to school full-time)? Or that I'm not a good cook? Or that I'm a picky eater? Is it my orange kitchen (shown above)? My uncomfortable kitchen chairs?

And let's not even mention the quality of the food ... I may consciously want to minimize processed foods, eat more vegetables and eat less meat, but nothing says, "fun" more than a burger and fries eaten on the patio of Five Guys.

So, this week's "plan" will include ways to make things "special" without focusing quite so much on the food (and alternatively accepting that this is one of the things that really brings me pleasure, so why not just find a coupon and go with it?!). Any suggestions?

Summer Planning 2010

Our last day of school was Friday and by Friday afternoon, the girls were already "bored" ... not really, but just without any plans or direction. Because they are are 14 and 12, our daycare days are over, but they're still too young for summer jobs and we're not loaded enough to send them to camp every week.

Sure, there will be camp -- two separate weeks ... one in Texas and one here in Tennessee, and we've pre-paid for a vacation in Orlando to go to Disneyworld and Universal Studios where DD14 will be attending the Harry Potter "Infinitus" conference (a Christmas present).

And, at the suggestion of her coach (and me, but I don't count), Oldest DD has created some goals for the summer ... prepare to run a 5K at Halloween by running at least twice a week, read more pages than Youngest DD, post on her blog at least twice a week ... all worthwhile goals.

Now the Penelope mom in me kicks in and I think that each week must have a craft activity; a new recipe to try; a field trip to schedule and a social get-together. (They're both avid readers so each week will also include a trip to the Library for brain feeding as well.) So next up is to create the weekly calendar for the girls which I will post here this week.

DH is gaining traction with his work which means that he may or may not be available at any time so our planning must not be contingent upon his participation. Also, my work has been very taxing, so I must find a way to improve my GTD compliance so that my stress level remains low and I'm able to enjoy any time I get with the girls during the workday (I work from home so this is less difficult for me, but still requires planning).

How about you? What "plans" do you make for the Summer?